Sunday, 9 June 2013


I've not posted for a long time; not because I haven't felt the need to rant but because it's been harder to get my thoughts together to do so.  This is partly because I was abroad for a few months, which required much organisation, and partly because whenever I start to ponder mental health issues I find myself hopping mad over the way services let me down and can't think straight. 
This seems to be worse over recent months – although that's probably because I seem to be remembering more and more, each little incident or spiteful comment a little niggling wound that won't get better.  I imagine this blog will end up being a hugely ranty but therapeutic outlet – hopefully at least as satisfying as putting the crisis team in stocks, though not as swift. 

In other news:
  • The extreme fatigue and inability to do practically anything I was suffering turned out to be due to low iron and a severe vitamin D deficiency.  Apparently in northern Europe the sun isn't actually strong enough for half the year (on the rare occasions we see it!) for our bodies to make vitamin D, so deficiencies are widespread.  The grey summer and hiding indoors too much didn't help either.  (Sun exposure needed per day is half an hour on your face and forearms). 
  • I discovered the concept of 'emotional flashbacks' which has been the singular most useful piece of psychological information I have ever learned.  I have no idea why no-one I've seen in a mental health setting has ever mentioned the concept to me.  Perhaps because then they'd have to stop writing me off as a waste of time...
Now I'm just trying to keep the Jobcentre happy as I'm still living at the mercy of the government, and trying to figure out a way to make money from the creative stuff I do.  Not an easy task, but easier than miraculously suddenly being able to cope with a normal job...  Gah!  Being completely at odds with society would be easier if you didn't have to make a living...

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